I have a strong reason to believe that if I was anything in my previous life then I must had had been a plant. I am more interested in plants than animals, including us, humans. I think, had my parents left me at an early stage of my life, as for the practice in the West, I can’t imagine what and where I would have been.
It’s a great pain to me to attend the classes at college. It’s is no less than a bitter pill for me- say, five times a day, one for each class. I don’t want to go anywhere to do anything, I simply don’t; and not even to entertain myself. But I have to do so for various other reasons, obvious: you know what your parents want; and the society won’t accept you unless and until…you know all that.
There are benefits of going to college for me, like, I have an early bath; I go for breakfast and have lunch, and eventually I don’t starve myself to death. So I must tell you that college and assignment keep me alive. In other’s words: I am a waste…
But I know that what I feel I can’t do that, simply, because I am someone’s someone, you know. So I must give importance to responsibility than any other things in this world. Ya, I certainly mean, the responsibility of being someone’s student, someone’s son and someone’s brother…the list goes on… and I always try to stick to my responsibility part by forgetting my feelings. This the way…the days go on.
You know, when I read, sometimes I fell that it would have been nicer if somebody would be tuning the pages of the book- height of laziness. I know you must have judged me. It’s ok. Seriously, this is how exactly I feel, though, only sometimes. Nothing interests me in life. Nothing gives me sadness and nothing gives me happiness, and I don’t need any of them. Most of the time if you find me laughing, it has nothing to do with happiness.
I just want to remain in a state where nothing exists except nothingness. In my life there is no place for hate and no room for love. I don’t want to be in that state: being excited and being depressed alternately by agreeing to the law of the wheel of karma. I just don’t want the wheel to move.
I am not sad, so I don’t try to make myself happy by being in love with someone at the cost of ruining my present for an imaginative better and romantic future! For the simple reason, I am very well aware that future doesn’t exits. I have no power to go in the future or in the past, we live in present. Though it’s a different thing that hardly we are able to be in present, we are always somewhere else without being aware of ourselves.
I think before coming on this beautiful planet earth we should have been given a choice for choosing a place as we have for almost everything after coming here. And if I have a choice next time to be born, I would like to be born as a Banyan tree. You can’t imagine the thrills I get with a mere thought of it. A Banyan tree! Yes. A thousand times yes.
Comfort and respect the tree is given is simply amazing. The trees remain natural throughout their lives. They remain same till they die unlike us who have to act and invent to be civilized and for many more reasons, aplenty. If you are a Banyan tree then you don’t have to do anything except breathing. You have an inbuilt system to cook food and you need not care for anything. Someone cares for you. Someone, and no one knows who is that someone.
There you are with big long branches under which people come to rest. Under the intense heat of the Sun people especially in rural areas thank you hundred times before they spread out their lunch under your cool shadow which comes to them with no price at all. You thrill the whole area with your presence: peace and harmony. They love you for what you are. You don’t have to change according to their wishes. People like you, some of them pour water on your trunk early in the morning, some of them offer prayers to you, and some decorate you with vermilion to make you one of the most important witnesses of some rituals in their lives. I know you must be enjoying all the attention given to you.
When it’s evening, all the birds return to you. For some time they chirp, they sing with their pleasant voices. And you must be enjoying it. You like them, you love them and everyday you have so many birds in your lap to tell you so many stories before you go to sleep everyday. What a wonderful life you live, Banyan tree.
I don’t know if you have brains to think. We humans have. But we hardly use it consciously, maybe, even less than 1%. For most of the time as breathing happens, thinking also happens in the head mechanically. So, we are hardly any different from you. And most of the time we use our creative, imaginative and inventive brains more for destruction rather than construction. We make bombs. We create war like situations, and what not. So, I don’t think the brain is so useful for us to use it just for what you can do without it. More than 99 per cent of the time we do “brainless” work.
If there is someone who is responsible for all the things in this universe, he should listen to my prayers to grant me a wish to be a Banyan tree in my next life. If that is too big a demand then make me Tulsi us ke angan ki. Agar woh bhi nahi ho sake to mjhe orchid bana dena usi ke vase ka!
And I certainly don’t agree with Ramayana where it has been said: Bade bhag manus tan pava, sur durlabh sab granth hi gaba. In short: even the gods are longing to be born as humans. I certainly don’t.
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